Me. At least after what I've been through.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
