Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
