You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
