Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
