Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
