Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
