I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
