We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
