I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
