tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you didnt know i had herpes?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
