No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
