i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize