thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
