the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
