The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
