..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
