youre lurking in front of me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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