Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
