Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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