Whoa Z and x make the same sound
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
