now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
