But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
