Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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