I will die if light touches me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
honey bunches of taint.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
