they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
