I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
