shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
