Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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