I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
