did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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