just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A+ Viking dick
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