So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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