i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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