I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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