nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
