I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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