whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
