she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
