I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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