no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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