OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
