my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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