the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Are my feet made of real feet?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize