I want to have your abortion
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You have to summon your inner elephant
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
