Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i've created a new STD.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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