If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
