It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
