On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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