So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
