just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
