Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize