hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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