let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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