Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
