so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
