Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
