...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
this hospital has no fireball
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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