i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
