I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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