My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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